Film Review | Tangled

Being bestowed with the dubious honour of long blonde locks did not exactly make you an object of envy in secondary school, when you’re surrounded primarily by other boys and not – as was the case in the refreshingly co-ed sanctum of sixth form – by an occasional smattering of jealous girls lamenting the arbitrary cruelty of genetics.

I’m sure that my lack of grooming in other areas (I would dress primarily in black… a penchant for heavy metal being my primary excuse, though laziness was the real reason) didn’t help my cause: I must have looked undeserving.

But in secondary school, things were different: ‘Goldilocks’ and ‘Rapunzel’ were marks of shame that followed me like tacked-on ‘Kick Me’ signs. Particularly when I was still in the ‘Ugly Duckling’ phase, when the hair was a half-grown, proto-emo flop that just didn’t. Want. To. Grow.

But seeing how even half-educated secondary school louts knew who the famed follicle-intensive folk heroines were, it’s no surprise that Disney has always found traditional folk tales to be a consistently successful resource. And while Tangled – their 50th outing – is their most expensive to date (the budget reportedly stacks up to $260, actually making it one of the most expensive films of all time), it turned out to be anything but a gamble: to date, it has made nearly twice the amount.

For a film about legendarily high-maintenance hair, it’s certainly gliding its way to success with ease.

The story is kept familiar enough for all to enjoy. An elderly woman named Gothel (voice of Donna Murphy), having chanced upon a flower that heals all ailments (including old age), uses it to keep herself young. But as the Queen of the kingdom falls sick while pregnant, she makes use of the same flower to get better, and guarantee a safe delivery.

When Gothel learns that the flower’s supernatural abilities have been transferred onto the child (specifically, her hair), she kidnaps the princess-to-be, Rapunzel (Mandy Moore) and raises her as her own in a secluded tower, where she passes the time indulging her creativity along with her silent, protective chameleon pet Pascal. While content, Rapunzel pines for a mere glimpse of the outside world, and dreams of witnessing the floating lanterns which, unbeknownst to her, are left to fly each year by her true parents – the King and Queen – in an attempt to reach her.

One day, the feckless Flynn (Zachary Levi), on the run from fellow bandits, crashes into Rapunzel’s tower by accident. Spotting an opportunity to venture outside her confines, the resourceful Rapunzel, having snatched away Flynn’s stolen goods, strikes a deal with the charming thief: he will help her take her to the floating lights, in return for his goods back.

But the overprotective Gothel is more devious than Rapunzel has ever imagined, and the duo would have to contend, not just with her, but with the angry bandits on Flynn’s trail.

As a non-Pixar 3D Disney movie, this is something of a unique beast: an attempt at ‘best of both worlds’ animation that looks glorious but feels (inevitably) cynical. Just as cynical is the democratic, all-encompassing title: Disney didn’t want to scare the hair-phobic pre-teen boys demographic, apparently, and opted for something non-gender specific (Variety’s critic amusingly likened this to re-titling The Little Mermaid ‘Beached’).

But as is the case with most things, it’s the end result that ultimately counts… and Tangled offers up a lovable dollop of adorable supporting characters (and creatures), gorgeous animated vistas (the coveted floating lights are worth the wait) and a story with just enough sass and spirit to keep the familiar lively and new (in a way, it’s like Shrek on Valium).

The songs are on the weak side, which is surprising given the fact that Moore is a part-time pop star (albeit a rapidly fading one). But other than that, this ticks all the right boxes in a lush (expensive) package.

Whether or not that’s enough is entirely up to you.