Sometimes my child throws a tantrum...

My little boy throws a tantrum sometimes when he does not get what he wants. The experience is not a pleasant one and whenever a storm hits I cannot help but think of the advert on British television where a mother in a supermarket pre-empts her child by throwing a tantrum herself, startling her child into wide-eyed silence.

The fact is that the only way to stop a child from throwing tantrums on a regular basis is to ensure that they are not worth his/her while. There are times when I regret having said no – when the battle is simply not worth the hassle. However, if the tantrum has started I will not retract my decision, because otherwise I will be teaching my son that it pays to throw one.

Unfortunately, I get the feeling that Franco Debono has not learnt this important lesson in life. He still believes that if he stamps his feet hard enough and makes enough noise then everything will go his way. It has not helped that so far the Prime Minister has pandered to a few of his demands – all it has done is reinforce his bad behaviour.

It has now got to a point where most of us do not care if Debono is in the right or not. We have had enough of his self-important pronunciations and most of us roll our eyes at the mere mention of his name.

Who is he to dictate which issues are more important than others when it comes to parliamentary debates? He might believe that his pet hate is more important than the budget and the state of the economy, but most of us beg to differ.

As the euro crisis rumbles in the distance, it is clear that our country cannot afford these shenanigans. Lawrence Gonzi is right to stand up to Debono and show him who is boss. If Debono retaliates by toppling the government, then so be it.

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The story of the five-year-old Eritrean girl who ended up in the middle of a bitter custody dispute was heart-rending. I could not help but feel sorry for the Maltese woman who clearly loves the little girl and who could not bear the thought of losing her. However, at the same time, I feel that the whole thing was mismanaged in the extreme.

The most shocking part of the story was the episode at the police station. According to local news reports, one of the police officers asked the little girl to choose who she wanted to live with. What a totally insensitive thing to do to a little girl! The question put her on the spot, effectively putting her in a position where she was the one “deciding” who to hurt – whether the woman she has been living with or her mother.

I really cannot understand how someone can just “babysit” a child for five years and not see this coming. I understand that the relocation to Switzerland was unexpected, but surely it must have become clear to “Jane” several years ago that she had become emotionally entangled with the child and that she needed help in order to deal with the separation when the time came for the child to move on?

I also felt that the following comment was uncalled for: “My advice is to give them back because when something like this happens no one will help out with the breaking of this bond for the child... I feel like I shouldn’t have tried to do something good.”

What she should be advising people is to do things properly and not to make the same mistakes as she did. “Jane” did not go through the proper channels; she did not register as a foster parent and she did not undergo the screening and training that foster parents are supposed to go through. Had she done so, she would have been prepared for the trauma of separation and perhaps would have put the Eritrean girl through less grief. For let’s face it, there is no doubt that it must have truly hurt that little girl to be asked to choose between her mother and “Jane”.

Furthermore this situation also raises a question. Just how many refugee children are in such “babysitting” arrangements? How many Maltese families have taken in children without screening or training?

Hopefully all the participants in this sad tale will be able to move on and put this behind them.