It seems like the joke’s on us

An April Fools’ Day prank by the University of Malta caused quite a stir when this announcement appeared on its Facebook page on Tuesday morning: 

ATTENTION ALL UM PARKING PERMIT HOLDERS! 

As of May 1st, charges will apply for all vehicles parking on UM premises as follows: 

€0.30 per hour Monday-Friday 6:00am-6:00pm. 

Free for all Remaining Hours. 

Charges will be deducted from employee's salary/students' stipend on a monthly basis. External vehicles will be sent a bill. 

This will be monitored using our cutting-edge technology, called Controlled Use of Cars (CUC). 

The post went viral, sparking a mixture of outrage by those who believed it and laughter by those who immediately clocked it for what it was. 

For me, the funniest thing about the prank was that it was a better idea than several real ones which had been suggested up until that time by Transport Malta. But the very fact that it was used as a joke underlines why the snarling traffic and parking nightmares we face every day continue to present a conundrum. 

It was also significant that one news outlet described the very idea as outrageous. 

“Outrageous” implies that it’s preposterous, bonkers, something you would never dream of doing in a million years. The use of this adjective, more than anything else, indicates just how immersed we are in our car culture as a society; so much so that we cannot even grasp or comprehend the very idea of being made to pay for parking (as a possible deterrent) at an institution such as the University where thousands of people study and work. A place where there are not enough car parks to accommodate the thousands of cars which just sit there all day waiting for their owners to make the daily trudge back home in punishing traffic jams. 

In fact, the concept of paid parking is not outrageous at all. We pay to park when we go to Valletta with our own car after all. On-street parking meters are found all around the world. It's common sense and the only way forward if we really want to tackle the issue at its source, by reducing unnecessary daily car use. If it were introduced, I am sure that suddenly and magically, car pooling would not seem like such a far-fetched idea any more. 

To be fair, the complete list of proposals by TM which have been announced since I wrote my last column include some sensible, workable suggestions. There will be more parking spaces allocated to those who carpool with two passengers at University, new park & ride facilities, waste collection and street cleaning to be shifted to off peak hours, new and more frequent bus routes and the promotion of remote working in the private sector. 

Yet, despite these efforts, the sheer amount of private cars on our roads, with just the driver, at all times of the day, points to a nation which just drives around all day long – just because it can. There is absolutely nothing which serves to dissuade us from getting behind the wheel. Petrol is still affordable thanks to government subsidies and street parking is free. 

As for those who blame “too many Y-plates”, there was a solution which was called Cool rides, where passengers shared a cab to the same destination, but which had to be scrapped in 2023 because at the time it was not financially viable for the company to continue without government support. But now that cab companies all have so many options on their apps, why not introduce sharing a cab to the same destination and see how that goes? 

Of course, no matter how many proposals are unveiled, the biggest hurdle will always be how to shift the existent mentality that getting from point A to point B can only be achieved if people drive their private car, preferably alone. This obsession with the car, which represents freedom but is also seen as a status symbol, has often been the subject of study. Rather than just a vehicle to get them to where they want to go, for some people it has a deeper, psychological meaning. Their car means “I am the king/queen of my castle”, in complete control and no one can tell them what to do. 

Cars are often seen as an extension of one’s identity and personality. Certain high-end car models are also associated with prestige, wealth and exclusivity – having the money to buy a particular model means you have achieved something; you have “made it”.  Let us also not forget the stereotype of the middle-aged man who suddenly buys a sexy sports car to attract young women and make him feel young again. 

Viewed in this context, I can see how setting foot on a bus (the horror!) would be unthinkable for some people. And no, spending 20 years and millions of Euros building a metro won’t change their mind either. There are some people who will never, ever, ever, give up driving their car. For those who are not so wrapped up in all the imagery and symbolism, however, alternative transport options are no big deal. Unfortunately, there are more of the former than there are of the latter. 

In fact, I wonder if anything will change when all the new proposals are put in place, or whether having less traffic will simply encourage more private car use, creating a Catch 22 situation. That is the hard nut which has always proved too difficult to crack. 

Nobody wipes their phone data unless they have something to hide  

This week we learned from court testimony that former prime minister Joseph Muscat wiped data from his mobile phone ahead of a police raid at his Burmarrad home. Court expert Keith Cutajar testified that the former Labour leader twice ran Google searches on how to “erase or delete” Whats App backup chats. 

According to the Court report: “The phone in question began recording primary activity in December 2022 with a notable spike on 28 December. According to Cutajar, this spike in activity could only mean that the mobile phone was reset and that the data prior to this date was voluntarily erased.” 

Even the most forgiving Muscat supporter is bound to raise a sceptical eyebrow at this behaviour.  Yet there was Ricky Caruana, a self-styled journalist/podcaster who has interviewed Muscat at length, who tried to justify it by saying that “don’t tell me none of you have ever deleted messages from your phone, for example, if you were cheating on your spouse…?” 

What can I say? Sometimes it is better not to say anything at all, rather than put your foot in it even deeper in a desperate attempt to defend or keep excusing someone. By his very comparison, Caruana acknowledged that no one deletes data unless they are guilty and have something to hide. It’s as simple (and as incriminating) as that.