An open letter to Joyce Cassar and Anna Vella

If you really want to help women, make your voice heard for real gender equality...

Dear Ms Cassar and Ms Vella,

I refer to the letter you addressed to women, advising ‘us’ on how to vote for our best interest in the referendum on divorce. In a society where women’s issues are largely ignored, it was extremely flattering to be given such attention.

I am not at all surprised that the letter failed to address any of the urgent issues that women face in this society, such as  women’s low representation at a political level and in the labour market, the gender pay gap, or the fact that one in four women in Malta is the victim of domestic violence. What you chose to do instead is to advise ‘us’ to vote against the introduction of divorce so that “women are not abandoned by their husbands”. Of course, that is your campaign.

The problem is you seem to think that, as women, we all share the same thoughts and fears rather than being individuals with diverse views and beliefs. It may come as a surprise to you that there are women in this country who do not need the State to make choices on their behalf. A vast number of ‘us’ would like to see the State do what it is supposed to do – devise and implement policies that eliminate discrimination against women.

You completely ignore the possibility that women may be the ones demanding such a choice. You completely ignore the fact that it may be in a woman’s interest to walk away from a marriage in which she is abused. You completely ignore the fact that this referendum is about bringing civil rights in this country in line with the rest of the world (except for that other bastion of democracy, the Philippines).

Let me take this opportunity to tell you that your letter was seen by many of ‘us’ women for what it really was: a cheap attempt to manipulate people’s thoughts to serve the interests you endorse.

You have chosen to be part of a campaign driven by an alliance that has used every dirty rule in the book to win this ‘battle’. The campaign you form part of has twisted facts, manipulated statistics and provoked a culture of fear. Your campaign has claimed the high moral ground, and yet it has been the more aggressive and the more destructive.

Your campaign has not stopped at exploiting children, by portraying them on billboards parroting your message, but moved on to exploiting women, using tactics such as the letter sent in your name designed to feed on the deepest fears in women made vulnerable by a society that believes their best function is to secure a man and reproduce.

You may have missed the fact that, in the process, you have also been extremely insulting to men. The messages coming from your campaign have portrayed men as prone to abandoning families at the sight of a woman’s waistline. You, who claim to believe in marriage, have inadvertently revealed your lack of faith in the institution. You believe a couple needs chains placed on them by the State to stay together.

A word of advice back to you now: If you really want to help women, make your voice heard for real gender equality… or would that be a threat to your notion of a healthy society? In the meantime, give women some credit. ‘We’ are capable of making our own choices based on reason, not emotion.

Yours sincerely,

Caroline Muscat

Caroline Muscat is a freelance journalist who blogs at       www.carolinemuscat.com/

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Actually, I think that the No lobby and those women are quite consistent with the church's teachings in the way they're acting. The female sex has always been seen as the sinful sex that preys on male innocence (sic!). Eve is the prime example. They even made Mary Magdalene a whore when she never was and the whole church hierarchy is purposely made to keep women out. So, they actually believe that women aren't capable of free thinking. Log on: https://mazzun.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/diskors-ta-kontradizzjonijiet-ta-l-arcisqof-cremona/
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WELL SAID! This site doesn't permit text editing - if it did, I would write that in red flashing letters six-inches high.
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Very well said Caroline, no beating round the bush, the letter must have added Taliban as that is the era which such pepole might lead us to. A time of servititude towards those who know it all. Hope that you take some advice from this reply & move top a new front for gender equality.
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With their letter I feel as If I'm not woman enough to take care of myself and I need a man to stay with me even if he's unhappy! Well guess what we're women enough to accept the fact that a man doesn't want to be with me anymore and move on. What's the point in being 'married' to someone who doesn't want to be married with you? That would make my life and his miserable!
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Thank you for such an excellent article! When I first received that letter by Ms Vella and Ms Cassar, I felt disheartened by the ignorance surrounding issues of gender equality in Malta. Thanks for reestablishing my belief that there are people out there that know how to talk sense.
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Bloody hell Ms. Muscat. BRAVO, GREAT, SUPER! How simple and beautiful is the truth. In cricket jargon you hit them for six! You are a woman of your time. After so much garbage reading your letter was just like drinking an ice cold drink on the beach during a sizzling August afternoon. Really thank you
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Very well written and 100% spot-on letter, Ms Muscat! The letter sent to all Maltese ladies by these two women is extremely demeaning to members of both genders, as you say. The fact that Ms Cassar and Dr Vella do not realise this is a shock and a revelation in itself: a revelation of what Zwieg Bla Divorzju stands for and tangible proof of how it has been choosing to campaign. It is also symptomatic of a scant respect afforded to both women and men - who are being stereotyped, respectively, as miserable or evil just to impress the gullible.
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I fully agree with Caroline Muscat that this was a cheap attempt to manipulate people’s thoughts Have a look at all the clips some time ago priests agreed that divorce is ineveatable and now they changed their song T
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"Only thing we have to fear is fear itself" (Roosevelt) ...and here's one for those politicians who intend to celebrate if the NO wins and hence refuse a civil liberty to those who are suffering: "What is politics for if not to right wrongs and to stand for truth." (Roosevelt)
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Congratulations Caroline,because with this letter you gave these two idiots what they deserve. If marriages are failing and are getting annullments and separations,who is suppose to be responsable for these breakups,because if I'm not mistaken,for Christian marriages every couple have to attend a course organised by the KANA movement,and when it's president is Dr.Anna Vella?
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Ian George Walker
Those who oppose divorce legislation on religious grounds mainly base their opposition on the injunction attributed to Christ that, “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder”. But I have never seen any attempt to define what it is that “God has out together”. No yardstick is proposed by which we can judge whether something has been “put together” by God or not. Take, as an example, a marriage where the husband (or, less often, the wife) regularly abuses the other spouse, sometimes to the point of hospitalisation; can we say that that is something that “God has put together”? Isn’t that verging on blasphemy? What about the spouse who hasn’t seen or heard from the other spouse for decades, can that such unions be described as something that “God has put together”? Why? How? I could mention many other example, but the point is clear enough The assumption seems to be that any marriage, however unwise, however it turns out, has been “Put together by God”, totally ignoring the fact that marriages are celebrated by fallible men and woman. In my opinion, the term “What God has put together” can only be taken to apply to successful marriages. which can be heaven on earth indeed. The injunction should be interpreted in that sense; a happy marriage is clearly a godsend and nobody should do anything to mar it. Unhappy marriages, on the other hand, should not be blamed on God. They are clearly mistakes made by fallible men and women and we have not only the right but a positive duty so set them right.
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Now that's what I call a broad with balls! Thank you Caroline from the rest of us who perhaps are not so eloquent in conveying the message to the ugly sisters!
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Nice one Caroline! . I found Ms Cassar’s and MS Vella’s letter VERY, VERY DISTURBING, and feel saddened that these women’s minds are being directed by an institution which does not even have their interest at heart. Children can be hurt as soon as a couple start having problems. Nothing will remove this fact. Everywhere in the world: when couples accept that their marriage has failed, they separate and eventually divorce. Ms Cassar and MS Vella - catechism taught me that SACRAMENT is an outward sign of an inward grace. Right? So what happens when the inward grace collapses? When only STRIFE becomes the outward sign? And do you know whose interests are being served when the church insists that marriage is a sacrament? It is certainly not the children’s. Listen, by the time their parents get a divorce, a lot of children have already got over it and accepted the new domestic arrangements. . Again Ms Cassar and MS Vella since you inflicted your disturbing material on others, here’s my eye opener to you: . Sacraments were all invented to ensure individual and social control. (And this comes from someone who accepts that the historical Jesus did exist but did not invent a bureaucracy based on canon law (cannon law means dogma). . The most obviously corrupt so-called sacrament is CONFESSION. This one is an Outward Sign of the church’s inner corruption. I understand the clergy confess to one another thus giving each other the right to screw up the world without being accountable to anyone for anything. What hope is there for people if they can’t see this horror staring them in the face? How very, very sad that so many cannot see this sham institution for what it is. . All said with due respect to well meaning Roman Catholic priests and well meaning Roman Catholic people who I know exist. . Ms Cassar and MS Vella you are being used as tools to oppress the world – a world which is already challenging with or without the granting of a divorce.
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Ms Caroline said "number of ‘us’ would like to see the State do what it is supposed to do – devise and implement policies that eliminate discrimination against women.I really don't agree with this statement because i think Females are more Equal than Men...especially in Court cases...And also Joyce adressed the public in a programm this week with the today 's Society reality and not chosen the wrong way as you sad.....
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The proponents of the no vote said anything that would cloud reason in emotion. From mentioning Mintoff in the most opportune of manners to the famous one that one could marry as manny times as one wished ignoring lead times and the four year buffer. These people will probably manage to deprive so many thousands from an opportunity to share their love for each other and their children through marriage...I wonder how the people who said anything for a no vote will feel on the day after when the emotional smokescreen will gently lift, and they will have to face that which they have done to society...
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Anton Portelli
joyce ... if u really have the family at heart .. from next monday start pushing the state and church to do something more constructive so that we would have a stronger family. Whether the referendum passes or not. As Mr Falzon put it ... by monday im sure they will forget all about it ...............and (i add) they would be back in the halls just clapping and singinging to the Lord.
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Ms Muscat. I am a man and hopefully do not need divorce but I agree with all your open letter. It is very clear and to the point without any twisting of truth
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Very well said Ms Muscat. I think you very ably voiced what many of us feel. . As a woman in these last few weeks I have found myself rejected by my own church, shackled by the party in government, betrayed by the female element in the ZbD movement. . I have no doubt in my mind about why I am going to vote yes on Saturday. I am going to vote yes for my civil liberties, yes for freedom of choice, yes for the right to think with my own brain, yes, because as a woman, I am capable of determining my own life and want to continue to do so. . Rose Sciberras
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Ian George Walker
The sad thing is that young people are prepared for marriage by the Kana Movement - and the Kana Movement, believe it or not, is led by Anna Vella! It's little wonder so many marriages fail - you cannot prepare people for marriage in the 21st century if your mentality belongs in the 19th.
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Hats off to caroline Muscat! Joyce Cassar and Anna Vella have shown themselves to be the precise opposite to the image they tried so hard to project of themselves and their MOVIMENT BLA RAGUNI WAHDA LI TAGHMEL SENS LISTEN TO JOSEPH MUSCAT ON ONE RADIO TODAY, THUSDAY, AT 10.45 AM. He will be speaking about the divorce referendum. DON?T MISS IT !!! !
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Very good caroline. you can have your say but these no. why didn't you point out what makes you -whether feminine or masculine- vote yes or no. At least these decided to fight for what they believe is right. If you seen tx yesterday, lawyer grech read a piece of paper that makes all the difference in my vote. It is stated in what we are going to vote that where there is an existing separation agreement it has to be respected; BUT where no such separation agreement exists the man/woman can move on the request the divorce and the only proof required is that of being four years separated.......the one gets divorce requested the other party will only receive the letter stating that he is now divorced..without even the need to appear in court....
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PROSIT, that's what these two frustrated women need, someone like you Caroline to show them their hypocrisy.
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Ian George Walker
Well said indeed. You stripped their mask away and revealed the ugly face it concealed.