Always wanting what is out of reach

You know how sometimes you read something and it triggers off a stream of consciousness which takes your thoughts into another, sometimes completely unrelated, direction? Well that’s what happened when I read a news story this week which described an expedition to take food and other supplies for the astronauts living out in space at the Nasa International Space Station.

While I can understand that there are those who are gripped with fascination at the thought of exploring outer space, on reading this story I couldn’t help but wonder what the point of this whole massively expensive expedition is. To me, it is just another metaphor for man’s restlessness and seeming inability to be happy with what he has. After all, we have a perfectly good planet right here, don’t we? At least, we had, until we started screwing it up with man-made disasters, pollution and a frenetic destruction of our natural resources.

Man’s incapability of leaving well enough alone has led us to the global warming crisis which world leaders are now scrambling to reverse as they have belatedly realized that maybe it’s a case of too little, too late. So what do we do? Rather than spending much needed funds to take a good look around and try to rectify the wrongs happening here on earth, we have shot rockets off into space instead.

I know I am taking a very simplistic view of what I am sure is extremely important scientific research, but bear with me.

For it occurred to me that just as man doesn’t seem to be satisfied with this planet but always seems to be seeking pastures anew as he wonders what is out there, it’s pretty much what we human beings tend to do in our own lives. We are here, but we always think it’s somehow better “there”. And if we had to break this kind of mindset down to its bare bones, it becomes apparent that many people do this over and over until they are stuck in a never-ending pattern of behaviour.

We live in an apartment, but yearn for a house, then a farmhouse, then a villa with a pool. We start off with a modest car, then we yearn for something fancier, constantly trading it in for the latest model with all the extras. Whether it’s a mobile phone, or a PC or a flat screen, there’s always something to pine for, which is slicker, more trendy and which is the latest “must have”.

Too many people purchase and surround themselves with a wealth of material things which give them momentary pleasure but which just as quickly are relegated onto the scrap heap of “I don’t like it any more and I want something else instead”.

Obviously, I am not advocating for everyone to stop buying new things or to stop aspiring to improve their quality of life. I love a bit of retail therapy as much as the next girl, and yes, buying something new does uplift your spirits, and injects you with the kind of instant gratification which is hard to beat. Shopping, whether for ourselves or for others, is an undeniable pleasure apart from being (let’s face it) what makes the economy go round. But when it becomes a matter of just wanting to acquire things in a whirlwind of never-ending consumption and materialism, where we barely have time to enjoy what we have before disposing of it and wanting something else instead - that is where I think we need to apply the brakes.

And it’s not just materialism either. I’ve often noticed that something similar happens when people go out, whether to a club or bar or restaurant, and yet they are not present in the moment because their minds are elsewhere. They glance around impatiently, sizing up the room, checking to see whether it is worth their while to stay put or whether perhaps they would have been better off going somewhere else instead, convincing themselves that others are having more fun than they are. I have no doubt that a lot of this has been fuelled by the frenzy of sharing our experiences on social media – pronouncing and announcing to everyone that we are “here” and have “checked in” there, as we busy ourselves Instagramming our moments in time, rather than just enjoying the experience. It is as if we do not take a photo of it and share it on FB, in order for others to validate our lives by clicking “like”, then that experience did not count or was not quite up to par.

Because every minute of our lives seems to be recorded (and shared) for posterity it has also created another phenomenon: never before have we been so obsessed with comparing our lives to others. And, of course, never before has it been more easy to do so, especially when people are so cheerfully willing to show you so much of their private world, from the fact that they have set up their Christmas tree (and by extension giving you an inside look into their homes) to publicizing their very intimate moments spanning from birth to death.

Countless articles have been written about this constant inevitable comparison between what appears to be the “perfection” of other people’s lives and what we perceive to be our own humdrum, boring existence and the fact that this is leading to more and more dissatisfaction and depression. It is easy to understand why this should be so - because instead of living our lives in the here and now, and just allowing ourselves to “be”, too much unnecessary time and energy is being spent on yearning for that elusive “something” which we have convinced ourselves that others have obtained but is always just out of our reach.

The irony, of course, is that I would hazard a guess that everyone is yearning wistfully for what others seem to have, because that is human nature. As we approach a New Year, maybe it is time to realize that instead of always looking around, searching elsewhere, for that intangible “thing” which will bring us contentment, all we really need to do is look at what is right under our nose.