Summer lullabies part 2

"Joseph, Joseph, qum minn hemm," Michelle whispered softly in his ear.

He pulled the pillow over his head and dug his face into the sheet.

"Joseph, wake up, you have to go to the gym."

He clenched his teeth and turned over, throwing the pillow to the floor.

"Michelle, I am not going to the gym today. I am taking a complete day off, and by that I mean... completely off."

"By the way, where are the children?"

"Marija, Joseph! They're out, they went with your parents to visit the bird park."

"Tajjeb, that means we have some time to ourselves..." he smiled.

"Don't start, I'm not in the mood. I have to prepare the quiche Lorraine and later on, I have to go and buy something for this evening. You have freshly made orange juice on the bedside table."

"Grazzi very much," he said.

"Joseph, your phone has been ringing. It's Manwel."

Manwel Mallia was wading in his pool. He held the mobile high to keep it from getting wet.

"When is he going to answer the damn phone?"

Finally Joseph reached out for his phone and answered.

"Hello, bonġu."

"Hello, Kapo."

"Tell me, Manwel!"

"Mela Kapo, I am informed that a boat with 123 people is to arrive in Malta. But this is a very serious situation."

"Deal with it as we have always  dealt with it."

"But Kapo, the Italians want this boat at all costs."

"What?" How come?"

"Kapo, there is a big difference this time around. I think we should reconsider our policy."

"But why? What happened? Don't tell me you've become a big pussy now."

"No, Kapo. The difference is that the arrivals are all Eastern European girls."

"What? Eastern European girls?"

Michelle was eavesdropping in the corridor next to the bedroom, and as soon as she heard the origin and sex of the 123 passengers, she rocketed into the bedroom.

Joseph was now sitting in his blue-striped boxer shorts with a big smile on his face. As soon as he saw Michelle he frowned and pretended to look solemn.

"Hmm, Manwel, if these Eastern European girls... I mean women... be sure to provide all the humanitarian help needed, if they are fine... Hmm..."

Michelle looked Joseph in the eyes, shook her head in disapproval and rushed out of the room huffing and puffing.

"Manwel..." Muscat whispered into the phone. "I could not talk, Michelle was around. Helwin? Are they gorgeous or what?"

"Kapo, Silvio told me that he has never seen anything like it. He said the last time he saw a scene like this was in the movie 'Orgia sul mare con Ava Adams'."

"Min hi Ava Adams, Manwel?"

"Kapo you never saw Ava Adams?"

Michelle barged back in...

"WHO IS AVA ADAMS? JOSEPH!"

"Come on Michelle, what are you thinking? Ava Adams is the Italian cultural attaché who is talking to Manwel Mallia over the problem of migrants!"

"Really?" she said, as she Googled Ava Adams on her Samsung Android.

Joseph turned PINK and then red.

"Kapo? Kapo, are you there?"

Michelle looked at the Android. The only cultural object in the photos of Ava Adams was her necklace, which dangled over her tanned, nude body. The rest is inappropriate to describe in this column. She grinned and pushed the Android for Joseph to see.

"IS THIS the Italian cultural attaché?"

***

Simon rolled around in his bed. Gypsy looked at his master as he mumbled to himself.

In a deep sleep, he stood on an imaginary yacht. Zaren Vassallo was dressed in a tuxedo and next to him, Joe Saliba. Both of them laughed.

Simon turned to them and asked them what they were laughing about.

"Heh, heh, he can't imagine what it's going to be like when I pull the plug and you all won't have a cent to pay the employees?"

Joe Saliba fell to the floor, stuck his legs in the air and started to wave them and scream with laughter.

"Il-aħwa. How I'm going to love this."

All of a sudden from a berth underneath, another man with a tuxedo appeared. It was Lawrence Gonzi.

He too was laughing.

"Hee, hee, Simon, this is really funny. I cannot imagine what it is going to be like leading such a sinking party."

"Are you serious?"

Simon looked up, and parachuting into the yacht, another character in a tuxedo suddenly appeared.

He jumped in the cockpit, removed the parachute and threw it into the sea. He scratched his crotch and started to laugh.

"Now you'll have a taste of what it means to lead a party. I never liked you, little spooky guy."

Simon could not believe his eyes. It was Austin Gatt.

Gypsy watched. She could not help watching her master roll and groan.

She walked to the bed and licked Simon's face.

"Phew! What a bad dream... Is that you, Gypsy?"

He looked up, glad to be back in the real world.

He turned to his bedside table. He switched on the radio and tuned it to Radio 101.

The music blared, and Simon smiled and wriggled his ass, hobbling to the bathroom and singing to the tune of Icona Pop's 'I Love It'.

"I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone.

I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched. I let it burn.

I threw your shit into a bag and pushed it down the stairs.

I crashed my car into the bridge.

I don't care. I love it.

I don't care."

Note: Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental, and any inconvenience is regretted