Indefatigable: culinary legend Rita Diacono helps struggling families

Most will know Rita Diacono as the legendary matriarch whose children and grandchildren grew up to be award-winning chefs and restaurateurs. But over the past eight years the 94-year-old cooking extraordinaire has used her parenting experience to help struggling families with their own domestic issues. 

Diacono volunteers with Home-Start, a government service run by trained volunteers that offer practical and emotional support to struggling families. It is especially targeted to families with at least one child under the age of five who do not feel equipped enough to deal with the constant needs of their child. 

“There is nothing better than family,” Diacono said. “You’ll be happy, you’ll find them, and help each other when in need. That’s the most important thing.” 

Having raised 11 children, Diacono knows a thing or two about domestic life. Throughout her eight years volunteering with Home-Start, Diacono used her parenting experience to support 35 different families. 

“I had a family that couldn’t cope financially, but they had a corner full of Coca-Cola and 7up. I told them I have 11 children, and I never bought them those. That was a treat on the weekend. With that money you can pay the bills.” 

A budgeting trick she had learnt from her mother was to place sums of money in different envelopes. On the back of each envelope, Diacono would down the expenses to which those sums of money were to go towards. She eventually passed on this trick to the families she helped. 

“You can’t blame these people. They’re unlucky. Their parents might not have taught them certain things, so it’s not their fault either. I have compassion for them. Most of the time, it’s never their fault.” 

For other families she would help take care of the children, clean the fridge, organise the freezer, among other domestic things. In some cases, she would take one glance at the family’s fridge and from the ingredients available prepare enough dishes for four days’ worth of meals. However, her approach was never intrusive. 

“You must not interfere. You must not make them feel that they are dirty or neglecting something. You have to be very careful on how to do it and how to be gentle with them, and not turn up and say ‘I know better than you’. No, that’s not nice. My approach is based on communicating with them.” 

“You have to go down to their level. I’m the type of person that can go down to your level. You can’t shout and say ‘look at what you’ve done!’. No, I’ve had experiences of this. Let’s sit down, let’s talk, let’s try to make things better, without shouting.” 

Diacono was never concerned with elaborate or technical dishes. She once hosted cookery lessons for mothers at a women’s shelter in Santa Venera. Her aim was to not only teach them various cooking methods, but also the ability to cook practical dishes with simple and easy-to-find ingredients.  

“I’m used to it with 11 kids, eight of which are boys…” she quipped. 

Diacono’s first run with volunteering was with Dar tal-Providenza. “One day I was washing the plates and I said, ‘Oh god, I’m always doing the same things. Washing plates, feeding, how monotonous! I think I should start doing something with myself. And that was it. My husband asked me ‘Are you mad?’, but I said no, I’m going to do it.” 

“It was difficult to leave my house, which is full of people of all ages. But if you want to do something, you must do it. From there, I felt that I must do something.” 

Apart from cooking and budgeting skills, Diacono’s charismatic energy allowed her to pass on a different approach to life to empower struggling parents. 

“I used to tell that that in life, you must always be like this,” she said while raising her hand. “You know what that means? A straight finger, morally and everything. Unfortunately, money is too important nowadays.”  

“When helping, it’s not only about money. It’s about being friendly. Finances are important, but other things are more important, at least for me. Even if it’s just by being there, having a cup of coffee with them, meeting them. There’s a lot of loneliness.” 

“Times have changed. Have they changed for the better or the worst? Maybe a bit of everything. Many things have improved, but certain other things… it’s simply not the way we were brought up. It’s not the Malta I know.” 

On Friday 1 October, Diacono celebrated her eighth full year as a Home-Start volunteer. Coincidentally, this also fell on International Day for the Elderly. Diacono stopped visiting families due to the pandemic. However, she still prepares food for families that are then delivered by Home-Start coordinators.  

For those closer to her age, she encouraged them to not just sit down and do nothing. “You have to keep on going, not only physically but even mentally. You have to take interest. Don’t laugh, but I need the newspaper every day. I need the feel of the paper. I’m obsessed. You need to keep updated,” she said.  

“And I advise people, especially of a younger age, to give your time to other people. It’s not always ‘me me me’… we have a bit of that nowadays.” 

For more information on Home-Start Malta one can call on 2167 8043 / 9901 8398 or email on [email protected].