Mothers and daughters: lessons in love

Debbie Scerri and Nicole Vella 

Debbie 

How would you describe your relationship with your daughter?  

Since she was a little girl, we always had a good bond and enjoyed each other's company. I also rely on her judgement regarding what to wear and to sing. 

A heart-warming moment from when she was little, is when I used to be giving a concert abroad and sing my song 'Tbissima' (Smile); she used to run on stage to sing it with me and the audience used to love it. 

What qualities have you passed on to your daughter? 

One quality I enjoy seeing in Nicole is the fact that she loves helping others, especially people in difficulties and that is something I try to practice in the best way possible.   

I also appreciate that she has taken up the love for the arts and lately TV presenting. I never imposed them on her, but certainly I have influenced her and that gives me great satisfaction. 

What advice would you give your daughter? 

We are always there for her in all her decisions and my advice for her is to always remain humble. 

Nicole 

What is the most memorable moment you’ve shared with your mother? 

I have numerous cherished recollections with my mother, but a few stand out, such as the time we shared the stage for the first time during a performance when I was around 10 years old. In my earlier years, I frequently joined her onstage, so the official experience of singing together brought me immense joy! Our family vacations consistently hold invaluable moments, particularly the occasion when both of us unexpectedly found ourselves riding donkeys through the streets of France. 

How has your mother influenced your life and shaped who you are today? 

My mother is someone I have always admired. Together with my dad, she instilled in me a deep love for music and the arts that continues to shape me today. She has been a significant influence in my life, inspiring me to constantly strive for personal growth in all my endeavours. She has consistently offered her unwavering support and encouragement, allowing me the freedom to pursue a path that brings me happiness. 

How has your relationship evolved over the years? 

Without a doubt, I regard my mother as an exceptional pillar of support. As I've grown older, our relationship has evolved into a more mature dynamic, where we understand each other on a deeper level. Nevertheless, we still seek comfort in each other's hugs, just as we did when I was much younger. Like any relationship, we have our disagreements, but ultimately, I am immensely grateful that she is my mother. 

Antonella and Martina Galea Loffreda 

Antonella 

How would you describe your relationship with your daughter?  

Like any mother, I feel I have assumed so many different roles in Martina’s life that I honestly cannot describe our relationship in a few words. We’re somehow opposites and although we agree on our ideals, we argue a lot because our attitude and approach towards anything we commit ourselves to is quite different.  But we can’t live without one another.  I’m still hoping that she sees a friend in me... I guess she’s getting there... maybe at a very slow pace considering she’s soon turning 18, but as they say, never lose hope. 

Typical moments that picture our bond are our shopping sprees. Whenever I accompany her, she seems to hate everything I invite her to try on with a passion. Her first reaction is always in the extreme negative. Am I already so old-fashioned?  When she goes shopping on her own, she then literally bombards me with selfies from the dressing room. I fail to understand how my opinion seems to count more when I’m out of sight. This somehow augurs well considering she’s seriously looking into pursuing her performing arts studies in the UK so I’m hoping that should this materialise, I would hear less ‘No’s, No Way’s and As If’s’.  

What qualities have you passed on to your daughter? 

Definitely my sensitivity, honesty, my need of helping and bringing joy to my family and friends and most of all, just like me, she tends to set very high expectations on herself.  From her end, she has certainly strengthened my determination and resilience - two qualities I most admire in her.  

What advice would you give your daughter? 

She’s the love of my life and my greatest wish is to live long enough to watch her realise her dreams. So, my advice to her is to follow her dreams no matter what; whilst always embracing the strong values she was brought up in. To never underestimate herself and to remain as kind, friendly and humble as she has always been. 

Martina 

What is the most memorable moment you’ve shared with your mother?  

One episode that I will always cherish is re-joining her after my first NYMT performance of ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ in Manchester. This musical was put on against all odds during the COVID-19 period, along with all the uncertainty it had brought with it. Mum did her very utmost to make sure that I get to live this experience no matter how difficult it was to even coordinate the flight. Meeting right after our opening night was highly emotional and I was very joyous to see how proud she was of me.    

How has your mother influenced your life and shaped who you are today?  

My mother has always been my main support system and everything I am today; I owe it to her. From a very young age, she has pushed me to my limits in order to become the best version of myself. Not only did she have a great impact on my personal development, but she also provided me with the right ingredients that are needed in order to succeed in life. Without my mum, I would not be where I am today. She showed me that anything is possible if you work hard for it, and I am very excited to be following in her theatrical footsteps.  

How has your relationship evolved over the years?  

I have always considered my relationship with my mother to be a tight-knit one. Since I was little, I have always looked up to my mum as a role model and admired her precision in work and her wonderful personality. Throughout my life, she has taken on different roles to help me in everything I committed myself to. I explicitly remember our study sessions during exam season, when she would drop all her work to aid me in my studies. I also recall her directing and even choreographing my performances for weekly singing competitions I used to partake in. As I grew older, I realised that in my mum I had not only found a role model but also a friend. Even though we stand by our own opinions, and occasionally disagree on certain things, our similarities in character are undeniable, making our relationship a very strong one. 

Josette Ciappara and Marta Vella 

Josette  

How would you describe your relationship with your daughter?  

We have a very strong relationship. It is a very deep connection. We both relish our space but we support each other unconditionally. We share a common love for the Arts especially theatre, travel, good company, overcoming challenges, good humour. 

During COVID I contracted the virus with mild reactions. Marta was still in London. When I gave her the news, she imagined the worst especially since I was not vaccinated. She refused to believe I only had a slight fever. She immediately ordered swab tests and had them shipped to my place. She would call very often and I got so many unexpected visitors who would drop by to say hello. Truth was she kept sending them over to make sure I was still alive!  

What qualities have you passed on to your daughter? 

The love for learning and for the theatre. The determination and commitment of reaching goals she believes in. The understanding that in life you need to count only on yourself and accept the ups and downs as being part of the process of life.   

What advice would you give your daughter? 

To be herself and follow her dreams. To take life with a pinch of salt and worry less. To appreciate herself worth. 

Marta  

What is the most memorable moment you’ve shared with your mother?  

How is it possible to pick just one?! One that stands out must’ve been our New York trip in 2012. It came after the end of a hard chapter and really symbolized a new beginning for us.    

How has your mother influenced your life and shaped who you are today?  

My mother’s influence is embedded in every fibre of my being. She has never spared anything when raising me and given her all and more. I strive to carry her resilience, integrity and passion in everything I do.   

How has your relationship evolved over the years?  

It changed a lot. As a child, she was very firm (but always fun). Growing older she softened and started to trust me to take charge of things and lead more. The dynamic has changed and it’s become special in a different way.  

Denise Mintoff and Paula Zammit Mintoff 

Denise 

How would you describe your relationship with your daughter?  

Paula and I have always had a very close and strong relationship. We enjoy each other’s company and love doing stuff together. We know that we are always there for one another no matter what. We also have the best laughs. We’ve shared several funny incidents together. One of them happened recently during a trip abroad. We decided to get an “experienced” driver to take us to a small quaint Christmas village. Little did we know that he couldn’t speak a word of English and had absolutely no idea how to operate his GPS so we ended going round in circles and eventually got lost. It was very frustrating at the time as we couldn’t communicate at all. However, by some miracle we managed to get to our destination hours later and since it was almost evening, we thought our day was almost ruined however on arrival the place was magical as it was all lit up. The irony is that we could enjoy this evening setting because we arrived later than planned. When life gives you lemons make lemonade. 

What qualities have you passed on to your daughter?  

I like to be objective and improve in what I do. I feel Paula is the same in this regard. She puts her heart in what she does and will not settle for anything less. Learning to prioritise rather than juggle everything all at once. Understanding the importance of empathy is a quality we both share.  

What advice would you give your daughter?  

Firstly, I believe that one must always be true to oneself and never do anything just to please or to be liked... even if it’s the unpopular choice. Secondly but most importantly, God always gives you the strength and wisdom you need to take you through whatever life throws at you.  

Paula  

What is the most memorable moment you’ve shared with your mother?  

I can’t really think of one specific memorable moment however I think we try to create special moments and memories together in all that we do, be it during a family trip abroad or simply a family night in.  

How has your mother influenced your life and shaped who you are today?  

She definitely instilled in me the love I have towards the arts and the importance of taking a professional attitude in all that one does.  

On a deeper level, the choices she has made in her life have shown me what it means to prioritise the family and the importance of constantly working to build and sustain a strong foundation. Apart from this, I have seen how life makes more sense when you choose to put God in the centre of your life because everything else seems to fall into place.  

How has your relationship evolved over the years?  

From a very young age I have always looked up to her. At the time besides being my mother, she was also my “hero” who made me feel safe and secure.  

However, now that I’ve grown up and our relationship has matured and evolved, besides still viewing her as a loving mother, she is also the sister I never had. She’s the person I can speak to about anything and who helps me put things into perspective when I’m not thinking straight or who offers me wisdom and advice.