Research on Malta’s blended families finds some golden advice... from children

A research project on blended families – the mix of remarried parents and children from two different homes – has issued a call to policymakers to address these families’ unique needs.

As the structure of the traditional nuclear family shifts with new realities, the Blended Families Research Project by the Malta Foundation for Social Wellbeing has called on biological parents to remain civil with each other, communicate respectfully, and place children’s wellbeing over greed.

“Children’s deep empathy towards their parents, even when feeling uncomfortable about the changing dynamics of their family life, is amongst the first insights emerging from a study delving into the challenges blended families face,” lead investigator Prof. Angela Abela said.

A blended family, also called a step-family, is a reconstituted family unit where one or both parents have children from a previous relationship, but have combined to form a new – same-sex or heterosexual – family, with or without children.

The research was carried out by University of Malta academics Angela Abela, Suzanne Piscopo, Sue Vella and Allison Zammit Said.

“In this presentation of our initial findings, we are focusing on what the children told us. From what has emerged from the interviews so far, we have been very impressed by their level of empathy towards their parents, even in situations that were not always so comfortable for them,” Prof. Abela said at a press conference presenting the report to Speaker of the House Anglu Farrugia.

This study – the final findings of which will be presented at the end of the year – covers interviews with various members of each family including the stepchildren, the mother, her partner, and the biological father.

The project follows on a 2016 study amongst 2,400 participants – 53% divorced and 37% separated – who were now in a new relationship.

“To date, there has been no research study of the sort,” Marie-Louise Coleiro Preca, MFWS chair and Eurochild chair, said. “I am proud that the Malta Foundation for the Wellbeing of Society is again pioneering such an interesting evidence-based study, through the able hands of Prof. Angela Abela and her colleagues.”

Coleiro Preca said she was impressed at the interviews of children and how they had shown themselves to be so protective of their parents and accepting of the situation. “To me this reflects the important role parents and step-parents have to nurture healthy relationships amongst themselves, and the need for clear and honest communication between parents and their children.”

This was one of findings highlighted by Prof. Abela, who said children appreciated that their parents communicated any decisions that were going to have a direct impact on them.

The birth of half-brothers and half-sisters was also a momentous time for children, and parents had to be sensitive to help prepare them for these events.

Prof. Abela highlighted the important role mothers played as an intermediary, when the stepfather intervened to correct the stepchild. “The advice these youngsters gave to other children and parents living in a blended family is full of wisdom and hope.”

Children also urged stepparents to allow biological parents to communicate freely without allowing jealousy or suspicions to take over, and for children to give stepparents a chance, to seek help when they struggle with feelings of anger or fear, and to celebrate being in a blended family as this could also be a beautiful experience.

“Throughout the study, it transpires that children thrive when they feel loved, understood, and cared for by their parents and stepparents,” Prof. Abela said. “They enjoy feeling connected with all the members of the family.”