It won’t be lonely this Christmas

A basic Christmas tradition is for the family, including grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins to get together and exchange presents and spend the day together.

The proud grandparents, wreathed in smiles, would look affectionately at their children and grandchildren, satisfied that another year has come and gone and they’re still united.

Unfortunately, this reality is not unanimous to all. There are those who Christmas brings more pain than happiness. A time when loneliness is heightened.

It is probably because of this that at Christmas several individuals and organisations try to ease things for these people. Such organisations also include the workers at Saint Vincent de Paule Residence (SVPR), the government residency for the elderly.

In each and every ward you walk into, one immediately notices the extra effort put by the carers: tinsels, lights, cribs, Christmas trees, red bows and several baby Jesus in mangers. Students from primary and secondary schools visit the elderly during this time – some singing for them, others would recite a Christmas play.

Gaetano Farrugia, 86 from Hamrun, recalls how much he used to love Christmas when he was just a kid.

“I had collected over 200 crib figurines!” Gaetano says proudly. “I used to go round the villages, sometimes knocking on doors, and collect them.”

Gaetano remembers how he used to love setting up the crib.

“I was brought up with Dun Gorg Preca and Christmas was very important to us. It wasn’t about the presents but it was about the happiness we felt because Jesus Christ was born.”

Gaetano sadly comments on how much he misses the midnight mass.

“When I was younger I would never miss it. But now, there is no one to take me.”

He recalls how it was much later, when he was older, that it became a custom to give presents during Christmas.

“Because we were poor and because the tradition was not so strong then, presents were not important to us. It was more important to us to go to church and receive holy communion,” Gaetano says in all simplicity.

Laughing, he remembers the chicken they used to eat on Christmas day.

“We were too poor to afford buying a turkey. It was more the rich who used to cook it But we still filled up our stomachs!.”

Hearing us talk about food, Elizabeth Busuttil, 74 from Birgu, chimes in.

“I love Christmas because we get to eat lasagna here!” she says with all sincerity. “When we were young, I used to go down to Valletta to buy a piece of lamb for my mum to cook for Christmas, but now I choose to eat the lasagna.”

Elizabeth recalls how she had spent one Christmas with her family and neighbours in a shelter because of the war.

“We were more than 30 crammed up in the small shelter. But we still managed to celebrate Christmas in our own way. We prayed and we had  baby Jesus in  manger. We did not give out any presents but we still felt happy.”

Elizabeth says that now, on Christmas day, she wakes up early as usual and goes to mass.

“I also lend a helping hand in the kitchen whilst they are preparing our food. Why not?” she asks jokingly, “I have nothing else to do.”

A quiet Mary Grace Mallia, 82 from Zabbar, nods her head silently as she hears Elizabeth talk about food.

I ask her what she remembers about Christmas when she was young.

“When I was about 10 years old, I remember a bomb falling in our street. Everyone was screaming and crying as we rushed into our shelters. We later spent Christmas eve huddled together singing Christmas songs.”

Mary Grace says that Christmas was real for her when she got married and had her own seven children.

“I used to buy them presents, cook stuffed turkey and spaghetti and sit around the table. I would ornate the house with Christmas decorations and then feed my children.”

She recalls that they used to go for the midnight mass and never miss it.

“Afterwards we would go home and I would heat up some hot chocolate for them and cook the chestnuts. I remember they would ravish them!” Mary Grace says with a distant look in her eyes.

However, these childhood memories are not so “happy” for all. 62-year-old Grace Bugeja from Qormi views Christmas “as simply another day like the others”.

“Since I’ve separated, I’ve always spent Christmas alone. But even when we were kids, we never felt the true spirit,” she says.

When Grace was just three years old, her father died. 14 years later, when she was 17, her mother passed away.

“We never decorated during Christmas – we never had something to celebrate for,” she says simply.

Grace admits that this Christmas will be a bit different for her.

“This will be my first Christmas I spend here and this means I won’t be alone,” she says on a happy note. However, she still comments on why Christmas should be a different day nowadays.

“Christmas should be about love and respect. But what is left of respect these days?” Grace wonders.