Children need protecting from a social media life they could regret

Cyberbullying is a phenomenon that has become fairly common in the digital age.

Taking place over devices like mobiles, computers and tablets, cyberbullying can occur through SMSes, apps, social media and online fora, and also gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content.

It’s a worrying trend that’s on the rise, Deborah Vassallo, a hotline administrator at the Foundation for Social Welfare Services, says, especially among young internet users. Statistics from the European Parliament revealed that persons between the ages of 13 and 15 are the most likely to experience cyberbullying.

The BeSmartOnline! project was created to try and combat this rising phenomenon by raising awareness and educating minors, carers, and educators on how to use the internet safely, while also supporting respective victims. The project works in direct collaboration with Agenzija Sedqa, the national anti-addiction agency, and acts as an advisor for the Stay Safe programme on wise use of technology in work-based settings.

Vassallo recounts one of the most striking situations her unit had ever encountered.

“We had one boy who was being cyberbullied on social media by peers, shortly after his father had passed away. They set up fake Facebook profiles, in order to torment him. They made fun of his father’s death, writing messages to tell him that his entire family was going to die.”

The abuse was reported to her unit, which took control of the situation.

“We contacted the boy’s school immediately, as well as his relatives. When we confronted him, he tried to put on a brave face, but we could tell the situation was weighing heavily on him, he had tears in his eyes as he tried to downplay the situation. Kids may not understand the impact their actions are having, but this sort of bullying can follow individuals through to adulthood and beyond.”

The Stay Safe program has Vassallo’s unit  reach out to parents, a difficult challenge since it was set up eight years ago. “Through this initiative, we are now able to meet up with parents and make them aware of cyberbullying, sexting, and other safety issues online.”

In many cases, parents tend not to be aware of this threat to children, and the programme presents an opportunity to educate them. Sedqa prevention executive Josianne Azzopardi, says the programme has already reached over 600 people across the island.

Another worrying trend affecting girls primarily are sexting episodes. Sexting, bullying, harassment, and humiliation occur when photos and messages get shared beyond the intended recipients, also resulting in the distribution of child pornography.

“We’ve had situations were underage girls have sent photos to boys they liked – many of them underage themselves – in their underwear, or worse. Those boys, either with the intent to hurt, or merely to brag, then sent those photos to friends and usually from there the whole situation snowballs out of control,” Vassallo said.

Even if the distributors of the photos were underage themselves, they can still be held responsible for distributing child pornography if the victim is under 18. “Most of the time, working with social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp among others, we are able to get photos removed. However, youths need to be made aware that the internet is permanent.”

Tips to be smart online  

Vassallo says one of the biggest problems are kids who are likely to post everything about themselves online. “Unfortunately, the more information you give out online, the more information someone with dubious intentions can use against you. For example, if someone is envious of me, they could try and make my life difficult by using information or pictures I have put up online.”

Vassallo suggests sharing the bare minimum, and making sure profiles are not open for anyone to see, regardless of who they are.

She also advises not to answer back when dealing with cyberbullies. “Persons, and more specifically, children, may be tempted to retaliate if they are being bullied, usually because they are hurt by the things that are said about them. It usually ends up with the victim bullying the person back, usually using offensive language. So, we end up with cases where we were looking at the chat and we’re asking ourselves who was the real bully.”

Vassallo is hesitant about suggesting more restrictive practices. She adds that parents should be checking their children’s phones, especially with younger children. “It’s all about trust. I’m not going to advise anyone to go behind their children’s back, but rather to have a conversation with them. Build the channels of trust so that if it does happen the child feels safe enough to approach the parents about the situation.”